My Full Story
My name is Meghan and I am 38 years old.
I am a wife and a mother of 2 young children. I studied psychology in university and then went on to become an elementary school teacher, a career I was passionate about from a young age.
Right from birth I had health issues. I was born with a cystic hygroma which was removed when I was around 3 days old. I continued to experience some health challenges throughout my childhood, including a bone realignment surgery for my leg, and dealing with chronic pain. Despite these obstacles, I led a very normal life.
In 2016, at 31, with an infant and a 4-year-old, and 7 years into my teaching career, my life took an unexpected turn...
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Disabling neurological symptoms robbed me of my ability to walk, plagued me with vision issues, constant nausea/vomiting, along with tremors, weakness, chronic fatigue, and many other disturbing symptoms.
I was sent to the hospital, and after an MRI, a Chiari 1 brain malformation was revealed.
I was told that I required brain surgery in order to prevent symptoms from worsening, but my neurosurgeon couldn’t guarantee that all symptoms would be alleviated. Unfortunately, that was the case, as I was stuck with a variety of disabling symptoms.
For seven years, my body continued to malfunction, disrupting my career as a school teacher and my ability to be the mother I wanted to be.
Despite consulting countless doctors and specialists, I remained a mystery and a big question mark in the medical world.
Eventually, I was given a second diagnosis of Functional Neurological Diagnosis (FND). FND is a disruption in the functioning of the nervous system, affecting the transmission of signals between the brain and body.
Triggered by physical or psychological trauma, FND manifests in diverse symptoms, including physical, sensory, and cognitive impairments, profoundly impacting quality of life. In FND, the normal pathways your brain uses to move, feel, speak, walk, and/or think, are disrupted. It is considered a condition that lies directly at the intersection of neurology and psychiatry that historically has failed to gain the interest of researchers and clinicians, leading to limited treatment opportunities consisting of medication and therapy which rarely lead to recovery.
I dedicated seven years to exploring every avenue for healing. Despite treatments, therapies, and tons of medications, my debilitating symptoms persisted. Depression set in, and my nervous system was in shambles.
I lost my light, my sense of purpose, and meaning in life.
In April 2023, after living 7 years in a disabled and chronically ill state, and receiving little support from the medical community, I felt I had no options left. At this point I found myself questioning whether my life was worth living. This was an extremely scary place for me to be in so I reached out to my family and shared my mental state. As my husband began a search for alternative approaches, he discovered an educated individual offering psychedelic journeys. I had no prior experience or knowledge regarding psychedelics; I hadn’t even ventured into the realm of mushrooms, so I was very skeptical. My impression was that these substances were illegal, and therefore figured they were ‘bad’ for you. I couldn’t imagine that there were substances out there that could actually make me better but the government had made them illegal. Nevertheless, my desperation and determination to regain my well-being compelled me to take a chance. I scheduled a one day journey, and the transformation that unfolded was nothing short of miraculous.
My psychedelic guide provided a very unique and sophisticated approach in using these medicines. All in one day, I microdosed on a variety of psychedelics which supported the main medicine - 5 MeO DMT. I started with psilocybin to support neurogenesis. MDMA was introduced to address the heaviness in my legs which could be related to sadness or depression in the body, and Ketamine was used to dissociate from my attachments to narratives that may have been keeping my nervous system in a dysfunctional safety loop. LSD was used to help with flow throughout my body, and 5 MeO DMT came afterward to help dissolve any entanglements that had come up.
My first experience with 5 MeO unfolded as a beautiful, breathtaking journey. An experience of euphoria and peace throughout my body that I never could have even imagined.
Prior to my psychedelic experiences, I stood as a non-spiritual skeptic, unconvinced of much beyond our earthly existence. However, 5 MeO showed me a whole other reality. I felt myself
harmoniously intertwined with the universe, experiencing a profound connection to my soul and an expansive interconnectedness with all beings. Love emerged as the paramount force in the world, and my perception of reality underwent a radical shift. I felt my light come back and was reminded of my greater meaning and purpose in this life. This experience fostered an intimate connection with myself and my body, leading me to recognize my physical symptoms as messengers, urging me to reevaluate my life’s trajectory.
This moment marked the beginning of a profound reevaluation of my lifestyle and a journey towards a more mindful and peaceful existence.
The transformative effects of my journeys were instant, and often beyond words - a sensation of my brain undergoing a profound rewiring and reprogramming. Through subsequent journeys, along with integrative coaching and lots of therapy, I learned to rest, regulate my nervous system, and fostered a deeper connection with my mind and body.
Slowly, my protective armour began to fade away.
Psychedelics became the catalyst breaking through unseen barriers, unveiling fresh perspectives, exploring the depths of my psyche, and addressing long-buried emotions and traumas that traditional therapy had struggled to reach.
Following my initial journey, I no longer battled depression, and my anxiety markedly diminished. After three months, I got off all of my pharmaceutical medication and regained full physical functionality, a feat that had eluded the expertise of countless doctors.
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In my advocacy for the accessibility of psychedelics as a therapeutic choice, it’s essential to recognize the profound role love and support played in my successful journey to recovery.
As much as I am advocating for psychedelics to be an accessible therapeutic option, I realize that a huge part of my success with recovery was due to the fact that I have support in my life.
As a society, we have so much unacknowledged trauma that is making us sick and interfering with our ability to heal. If we come together, connect on a human level, and learn to provide love and support while allowing each other to be our authentic selves, I believe we will begin to collectively heal.
